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第170章

安徒生童话-第170章

小说: 安徒生童话 字数: 每页3500字

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〃What has happened?〃 asked Angelo。 〃mand yourself。 Speak!〃

But what could he say? How could he explain? And as Angelo couldmake no sense of his friend's incoherent words; he forbore to questionhim further; and merely said;

〃Your blood grows thick from your eternal dreaming。 Be a man; asall others are; and don't go on living in ideals; for that is whatdrives men crazy。 A jovial feast will make you sleep quietly andhappily。 Believe me; the time will e when you will be old; and yoursinews will shrink; and then; on some fine sunshiny day; wheneverything is laughing and rejoicing; you will lie there a fadedplant; that will grow no more。 I do not live in dreams; but inreality。 e with me。 Be a man!〃

And he drew the artist away with him。 At this moment he was ableto do so; for a fire ran in the blood of the young sculptor; achange had taken place in his soul; he felt a longing to tear from theold; the accustomed… to forget; if possible; his own individuality;and therefore it was that he followed Angelo。

In an out…of…the…way suburb of Rome lay a tavern much visited byartists。 It was built on the ruins of some ancient baths。 The greatyellow citrons hung down among the dark shining leaves; and covereda part of the old reddish…yellow walls。 The tavern consisted of avaulted chamber; almost like a cavern; in the ruins。 A lamp burnedthere before the picture of the Madonna。 A great fire gleamed on thehearth; and roasting and boiling was going on there; without; underthe citron trees and laurels; stood a few covered tables。

The two artists were received by their friends with shouts ofwele。 Little was eaten; but much was drunk; and the spirits ofthe pany rose。 Songs were sung and ditties were played on theguitar; presently the Salterello sounded; and the merry dance began。Two young Roman girls; who sat as models to the artists; took partin the dance and in the festivity。 Two charming Bacchantes werethey; certainly not Psyches… not delicate; beautiful roses; but fresh;hearty; glowing carnations。

How hot it was on that day! Even after sundown it was hot。 Therewas fire in the blood; fire in every glance; fire everywhere。 Theair gleamed with gold and roses; and life seemed like gold and roses。

〃At last you have joined us; for once;〃 said his friends。 〃Now letyourself be carried by the waves within and around you。〃

〃Never yet have I felt so well; so merry!〃 cried the young artist。〃You are right… you are all of you right。 I was a fool… a dreamer。 Manbelongs to reality; and not to fancy。〃

With songs and with sounding guitars the young people returnedthat evening from the tavern; through the narrow streets; the twoglowing carnations; daughters of the Campagna; went with them。

In Angelo's room; among a litter of colored sketches (studies) andglowing pictures; the voices sounded mellower; but not less merrily。On the ground lay many a sketch that resembled the daughters of theCampagna; in their fresh; hearty eliness; but the two originalswere far handsomer than their portraits。 All the burners of thesix…armed lamp flared and flamed; and the human flamed up from within;and appeared in the glare as if it were divine。

〃Apollo! Jupiter! I feel myself raised to our heaven… to yourglory! I feel as if the blossom of life were unfolding itself in myveins at this moment!〃

Yes; the blossom unfolded itself; and then burst and fell; andan evil vapor arose from it; blinding the sight; leading astray thefancy; the firework of the senses went out; and it became dark。

He was again in his own room。 There he sat down on his bed andcollected his thoughts。

〃Fie on thee!〃 these were the words that sounded out of hismouth from the depths of his heart。 〃Wretched man; go; begone!〃 Anda deep painful sigh burst from his bosom。

〃Away! begone!〃 These; her words; the words of the livingPsyche; echoed through his heart; escaped from his lips。 He buried hishead in the pillows; his thoughts grew confused; and he fell asleep。

In the morning dawn he started up; and collected his thoughtsanew。 What had happened? Had all the past been a dream? The visit toher; the feast at the tavern; the evening with the purple carnationsof the Campagna? No; it was all real… a reality he had never beforeexperienced。

In the purple air gleamed the bright Star; and its beams fell uponhim and upon the marble Psyche。 He trembled as he looked at thatpicture of immortality; and his glance seemed impure to him。 Hethrew the cloth over the statue; and then touched it once more tounveil the form… but he was not able to look again at his own work。

Gloomy; quiet; absorbed in his own thoughts; he sat therethrough the long day; he heard nothing of what was going on aroundhim; and no man guessed what was passing in this human soul。

And days and weeks went by; but the nights passed more slowly thanthe days。 The flashing Star beheld him one morning as he rose; paleand trembling with fever; from his sad couch; then he steppedtowards the statue; threw back the covering; took one long;sorrowful gaze at his work; and then; almost sinking beneath theburden; he dragged the statue out into the garden。 In that place wasan old dry well; now nothing but a hole。 Into this he cast the Psyche;threw earth in above her; and covered up the spot with twigs andtles。

〃Away! begone!〃 Such was the short epitaph he spoke。

The Star beheld all this from the pink morning sky; and its beamtrembled upon two great tears upon the pale feverish cheeks of theyoung man; and soon it was said that he was sick unto death; and helay stretched upon a bed of pain。

The convent Brother Ignatius visited him as a physician and afriend; and brought him words of fort; of religion; and spoke tohim of the peace and happiness of the church; of the sinfulness ofman; of rest and mercy to be found in heaven。

And the words fell like warm sunbeams upon a teeming soil。 Thesoil smoked and sent up clouds of mist; fantastic pictures; picturesin which there was reality; and from these floating islands helooked across at human life。 He found it vanity and delusion… andvanity and delusion it had been to him。 They told him that art was asorcerer; betraying us to vanity and to earthly lusts; that we arefalse to ourselves; unfaithful to our friends; unfaithful towardsHeaven; and that the serpent was always repeating within us; 〃Eat; andthou shalt bee as God。〃

And it appeared to him as if now; for the first time; he knewhimself; and had found the way that leads to truth and to peace。 Inthe church was the light and the brightness of God… in the monk's cellhe should find the rest through which the tree of human life mightgrow on into eternity。

Brother Ignatius strengthened his longings; and thedetermination became firm within him。 A child of the world became aservant of the church… the young artist renounced the world; andretired into the cloister。

The brothers came forward affectionately to wele him; and hisinauguration was as a Sunday feast。 Heaven seemed to him to dwell inthe sunshine of the church; and to beam upon him from the holypictures and from the cross。 And when; in the evening; at the sunsethour; he stood in his little cell; and; opening the window; looked outupon old Rome; upon the desolated temples; and the great deadColiseum… when he saw all this in its spring garb; when the acaciasbloomed; and the ivy was fresh; and roses burst forth everywhere;and the citron and orange were in the height of their beauty; andthe palm trees waved their branches… then he felt a deeper emotionthan had ever yet thrilled through him。 The quiet open Campagna spreaditself forth towards the blue snow…covered mountains; which seemedto be painted in the air; all the outlines melting into each other;breathing peace and beauty; floating; dreaming… and all appearing likea dream!

Yes; this world was a dream; and the dream lasts for hours; andmay return for hours; but convent life is a life of years… long years;and many years。

From within es much that renders men sinful and impure。 Hefully realized the truth of this。 What flames arose up in him attimes! What a source of evil; of that which we would not; welled upcontinually! He mortified his body; but the evil came from within。

One day; after the lapse of many years; he met

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