tg.wizardfirstrule-第30章
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The wisp had said to seek the answer or die。 It didn't say it was necessary to bee this Seeker。 He could find the answers in his own way； as he always had。 He hadn't needed the sword to figure out who the wizard was； although it hadn't been that hard。
But what was wrong with taking the sword？ What could it hurt to have its help？ Wouldn't it be foolish to turn down any assistance？ Apparently the sword could be put to any use its owner wanted； so why not use it in the way he wanted？ He didn't have to bee an assassin； or anything else。 He could use it to help them； that was all。 That was all that was needed； or wanted； no more
But。 Richard knew why he didn't want it。 He didn't like the way it had felt when he had drawn the sword。 It had felt good； and that bothered him。 It had stirred his anger in a way that frightened him； made him feel like …he had never felt before。 The most disconcerting thing was that it felt right。 He didn't want to feel right about anger； didn't want to lose his control of it。 Anger was wrong。 That's what his father had taught him。 Anger had killed his mother。 He kept his anger behind a locked door he didn't want opened。 No； he would do this in his own way； without the sword。 He didn't need it； 'didn't need the worry of it。
Richard turned to Zedd； who still sat with his arms folded across his chest； watching。 The sunlight gave Zedd's wrinkles deep shadows。 The lines and sharp angles of his familiar face seemed somehow different。 He looked grim； resolute…somehow more like a wizard。 Their eyes met and held each other。 Richard was decided。 He would tell his friend no。 He would help； and would stand by them。 His life； too； depended on this。 But he would not be the Seeker。 Before he could say so； Zedd spoke。
〃Kahlan； tell Richard how Darken Rahl questions people。〃 His voice was quiet； calm。 He didn't look at her； instead continuing。 to hold Richard's eyes。
Her voice was barely audible。 〃Zedd； please。〃
〃Tell him。〃 This time his voice was harder； more forceful。 〃Tell him what he does with the curved knife he keeps at his belt。〃
Richard looked away from Zedd's eyes to her pale face。 After a moment she held out her hand； and looked up at him with sad； green eyes； beckoning him to e to her。 He stood a moment； wary； then came and took her hand。 She pulled him down toward her。 He sat； straddling the bench； facing her； waiting for what it was she was bidden to say； fearing it。
Kahlan shifted toward him； hooking some hair behind an ear； and looked down at his right hand as she held it in both of hers； stroking the back of it with her thumbs。 Her fingers were gentle； soft； and warm against his palm。 The size of her hands made his seem awkwardly large。 She spoke quietly and didn't look up。
〃Darken Rahl is a practitioner of an ancient form of magic called anthropomancy。 He divines the answers to questions by the inspection of living human entrails。〃
Richard felt his anger ignite。
〃It's of limited use； he can at most get a yes or no to a single question； and sometimes； a name。 Nonetheless； he continues to favor its use。 I'm sorry； Richard。 Please forgive me for telling you this。〃
Memories of his father's kindness； his laughter； his love； his friendship； their time together with the secret book； and a thousand other brief glimpses tore through him in a flood of anguish。 The scenes and sounds converged into dim shadows and hollow echoes in Richard's mind and melted away。 In its pace； memories of the bloodstains on the floor； the white faces of the people there； images of his father's pain and terror； and the things Chase had told him flashed vividly in snatches through his mind。 He didn't try to stop them； but instead pulled them onward； hungering for them。 He washed himself in the detail of it all； felt the twisting torment。 Pain flared up from a pit deep inside him。 Invoked heedlessly； it came screaming forth。 In his mind he added the shadowed figure of Darken Rahl； hands dripping crimson blood； standing over his father's body； holding the red； glinting blade。 He held the vision before him； twisting it； inspecting it； drinking it into his soul。 The picture was plete now。 He had his answers。 He knew how it had been。 How his father had died。 Until now that was all he had ever sought…answers。 In his whole life； he had never gone beyond that simple quest。
In one white…hot instant that changed。
The door that held back his anger； and the wall of reason containing his temper； burned away in a flash of hot desire。 A lifetime of rational thinking evaporated before his searing fury。 Lucidity became dross in a cauldron of molten need。
Richard reached out to the Sword of Truth； curled his fingers around the scabbard； gripping it tighter and tighter until his knuckles were white。 The muscles in his jaw flexed。 His breathing came fast and sharp。 He saw nothing else of what was around him。 The heat of anger surged forth from the sword； not of its own volition； but summoned by the Seeker。
Richard's chest heaved with the burning hurt of his grief at knowing now what had happened to his father； and with that knowledge there was closure； too。 Thoughts he had never permitted himself to have became his only desire。 Caution and consequence vanished before a flood of lust for vengeance。
In that instant； his only want； his only desire； his only need； was to kill Darken Rahl。 Nothing else had any significance。
With his other hand he reached out and seized the hilt of his sword to pull it free。 Zedd's hand clamped down over his。 The Seeker's eyes snapped up； livid at the interference。
〃Richard。〃 Zedd's voice was gentle。 〃Calm down。〃
The Seeker； his muscles flexing powerfully； glowered into the other's tranquil eyes。 Some part of him； deep in the back of his mind； kept warning him； trying to regain control。 He ignored the warming。 He bent over the table to the wizard； his teeth gritted。
〃I accept the position of Seeker。〃
〃Richard；〃 …Zedd repeated calmly； 〃it's all right。 Relax。 Sit down。〃
The world came rushing back into his mind。 He pulled his readiness to kill back a notch； but not his rage。 Not only the door； but also the wall that had contained his anger； was gone。 Even though the world about him had returned； it was a world seen through different eyes…eyes he had always had； but had been afraid to use： the eyes of a Seeker。
Richard realized that he was standing。 He didn't remember getting up。 He sat again next to Kahlan； removing his； hands from the sword。 Something inside him regained control of his anger。 It wasn't the same as before； though。 It didn't shut it away； didn't lock it behind a door； but pulled it back； unafraid； to make it ready when needed again。
Some of his old self seeped back into his mind； calming him； slowing his breathing； reasoning within him。 He felt liberated； unafraid； unashamed of his temper for the first time。 He allowed himself to sit there while he uncoiled； feeling his muscles relax。
He looked up into Zedd's calm； undisturbed face。 The old man； his thatch of white hair framing an angular face set in a perceptive cast； studied him； assessed him with the slightest hint of a smile fixed at the corners of his thin mouth。
〃Congratulations；〃 the wizard said。 〃You have passed my final test to bee Seeker。〃 Richard pulled back in confusion。 〃What do you mean？ You already appointed me Seeker。〃
Zedd shook his head slowly。 〃I told you before。 Weren't you listening？ A Seeker appoints himself。 Before you could bee Seeker you had to pass one determinative test。 You had to show me you could use all your mind。 For many years； Richard； you have kept part of it locked away。 Your anger。 I had to know you could release it； call upon it。 I've seen you angry； but you were unable to admit your anger to yourself。 A Seeker who couldn't allow himself to use his anger would be hopelessly weak。 It is the strength of rage that gives the heedless drive to prevail。 Without the anger； you would have turned down the sword； and I would have let you； because you wouldn't have had what was required。 But that is irrelevant now。 You have proven you are no longer
