[科幻]宿主-第38章

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ponderings　to　what　I’d　overheard。

　Souls　did　not；　as　a　rule；　speak　anything　but　the　truth。　Seekers；　of　course；　had　the　requirements　of　their　
Calling；　but　between　souls　there　was　never　reason　for　a　lie。　With　my　last　species’　language　of　thought；　it　
would　have　been　impossible　to　lie；　even　had　we　wanted　to。　However；　anchored　as　we　were；　we　told　
ourselves　stories　to　alleviate　the　boredom。　Storytelling　was　the　most　honored　of　all　talents；　for　it　benefited　
everyone。

　Sometimes；　fact　mixed　with　fiction　so　thoroughly　that；　though　no　lies　were　told；　it　was　hard　to　remember　
what　was　strictly　true。　

　

　But　there　were　whispers　of　this：　of　human　hosts　so　strong　that　the　souls　were　forced　to　abandon　them。　
Hosts　whose　minds　could　not　be　pletely　suppressed。　Souls　who　took　on　the　personality　of　the　body；　
rather　than　the　other　way　around。　Stories。　Wild　rumors。　Madness。

　But　that　seemed　almost　to　be　the　Healer’s　accusation。…

　I　dismissed　the　thought。　The　more　likely　meaning　of　his　censure　was　the　distaste　most　of　us　felt　for　the　
Seeker’s　Calling。　Who　would　choose　a　life　of　conflict　and　pursuit？　Who　would　be　attracted　to　the　chore　
of　tracking　down　unwilling　hosts　and　capturing　them？　Who　would　have　the　stomach　to　face　the　violence　
of　this　particular　species；　the　hostile　humans　who　killed　so　easily；　so　thoughtlessly？　Here；　on　this　planet；　
the　Seekers　had　bee　practically　a…　militia—my　new　brain　supplied　the　term　for　the　unfamiliar　
concept。　Most　believed　that　only　the　least　civilized　souls；　the　least　evolved；　the　lesser　among　us；　would　
be　drawn　to　the　path　of　Seeker。

　Still；　on　Earth　the　Seekers　had　gained　new　status。　Never　before　had　an　occupation　gone　so　awry。　Never　
before　had　it　turned　into　a　fierce　and　bloody　battle。　Never　before　had　the　lives　of　so　many　souls　been　
sacrificed。　The　Seekers　stood　as　a　mighty　shield；　and　the　souls　of　this　world　were　thrice…over　indebted　to　
them：　for　the　safety　they　had　carved　out　of　the　mayhem；　for　the　risk　of　the　final　death　that　they　faced　
willingly　every　day；　and　for　the　new　bodies　they　continued　to　provide。

　Now　that　the　danger　was　virtually　past；　it　appeared　the　gratitude　was　fading。　And；　for　this　Seeker　at　
least；　the　change　was　not　a　pleasant　one。

　It　was　easy　to　imagine　what　her　questions　for　me　would　be。　Though　the　Healer　was　trying　to　buy　me　
time　to　adjust　to　my　new　body；　I　knew　I　would　do　my　best　to　help　the　Seeker。　Good　citizenship　was　
quintessential　to　every　soul。

　So　I　took　a　deep　breath　to　prepare　myself。　The　monitor　registered　the　movement。　I　knew　I　was　stalling　
a　bit。　I　hated　to　admit　it；　but　I　was　afraid。　To　get　the　information　the　Seeker　needed；　I　would　have　to　
explore　the　violent　memories　that　had　made　me　scream　in　horror。　More　than　that；　I　was　afraid　of　the　
voice　I’d　heard　so　loudly　in　my　head。　But　she　was　silent　now；　as　was　right。　She　was　just　a　memory；　too。

　I　should　not　have　been　afraid。　After　all；　I　was　called　Wanderer　now。　And　I’d　earned　the　name。

　With　another　deep　breath；　I　delved　into　the　memories　that　frightened　me；　faced　them　head…on　with　my　
teeth　locked　together。

　I　could　skip　past　the　end—it　didn’t　overwhelm　me　now。　In　fast…forward；　I　ran　through　the　dark　again；　
wincing；　trying　not　to　feel。　It　was　over　quickly。

　Once　I　was　through　that　barrier；　it　wasn’t　hard　to　float　through　less…alarming　things　and　places；　skimming　
for　the　information　I　wanted。　I　saw　how　she’d　e　to　this　cold　city；　driving　by　night　in　a　stolen　car　
chosen　for　its　nondescript　appearance。　She’d　walked　through　the　streets　of　Chicago　in　darkness；　
shivering　beneath　her　coat。　

　

　The　words　came　slower　and　slower；　and　at　first　I　did　not　understand　why。　Was　this　forgotten？　Lost　in　
the　trauma　of　an　almost　death？　Was　I　still　sluggish　from　unconsciousness？　I　struggled　to　think　clearly。　
This　sensation　was　unfamiliar。　Was　my　body　still　sedated？　I　felt　alert　enough；　but　my　mind　labored　
unsuccessfully　for　the　answers　I　wanted。

　I　tried　another　avenue　of　searching；　hoping　for　clearer　responses。　What　was　her　goal？　She　would　find…　
Sharon—I　fished　out　the　name—and　they　would…

　I　hit　a　wall。

　It　was　a　blank；　a　nothing。　I　tried　to　circle　around　it；　but　I　couldn’t　find　the　edges　of　the　void。　It　was　as　if　
the　information　I　sought　had　been　erased。

　As　if　this　brain　had　been　damaged。

　Anger　flashed　through　me；　hot　and　wild。　I　gasped　in　surprise　at　the　unexpected　reaction。　I’d　heard　of　the　
emotional　instability　of　these　human　bodies；　but　this　was　beyond　my　ability　to　anticipate。　In　eight　full　lives；　
I’d　never　had　an　emotion　touch　me　with　such　force。

　I　felt　the　blood　pulse　through　my　neck；　pounding　behind　my　ears。　My　hands　tightened　into　fists。

　The　machines　beside　me　reported　the　acceleration　of　my　heartbeats。　There　was　a　reaction　in　the　room：　
the　sharp　tap　of　the　Seeker’s　shoes　approached　me；　mingled　with　a　quieter　shuffle　that　must　have　been　
the　Healer。

　“Wele　to　Earth；　Wanderer；”　the　female　voice　said。

　CHAPTER　3

　Resisted

　She　won’t　recognize　the　new　name；”　the　Healer　murmured。

　A　new　sensation　distracted　me。　Something　pleasant；　a　change　in　the　air　as　the　Seeker　stood　at　my　side。　
A　scent；　I　realized。　Something　different　than　the　sterile；　odorless　room。　Perfume；　my　new　mind　told　me。　

Floral；　lush…

　“Can　you　hear　me？”　the　Seeker　asked；　interrupting　my　analysis。　“Are　you　aware？”

　“Take　your　time；”　the　Healer　urged　in　a　softer　voice　than　the　one　he　had　used　before。

　I　did　not　open　my　eyes。　I　didn’t　want　to　be　distracted。　My　mind　gave　me　the　words　I　needed；　and　the　

tone　that　would　convey　what　I　couldn’t　say　without　using　many　words。

　“Have　I　been　placed　in　a　damaged　host　in　order　to　gain　the　information　you　need；　Seeker？”

　There　was　a　gasp—surprise　and　outrage　mingled—and　something　warm　touched　my　skin；　covered　my　

　

　“Of　course　not；　Wanderer；”　the　man　said　reassuringly。　“Even　a　Seeker　would　stop　at　some　things。”

　The　Seeker　gasped　again。　Hissed；　my　memory　corrected。

　“Then　why　doesn’t　this　mind　function　correctly？”

　There　was　a　pause。

　“The　scans　were　perfect；”　the　Seeker　said。　Her　words　not　reassuring　but　argumentative。　Did　she　mean　

to　quarrel　with　me？　“The　body　was　entirely　healed。”

　“From　a　suicide　attempt　that　was　perilously　close　to　succeeding。”　My　tone　was　stiff；　still　angry。　I　wasn’t　
used　to　anger。　It　was　hard　to　contain　it。

　“Everything　was　in　perfect　order　—”

　The　Healer　cut　her　off。　“What　is　missing？”　he　asked。　“Clearly；　you’ve　accessed　speech。”

　“Memory。　I　was　trying　to　find　what　the　Seeker　wants。”

　Though　there　was　no　sound；　there　was　a　change。　The　atmosphere；　which　had　gone　tense　at　my　
accusation；　relaxed。　I　wondered　how　I　knew　this。　I　had　a　strange　sensation　that　I　was　somehow　receiving　
more　than　my　five　senses　were　giving　me—almost　a　feeling　that　there　wasanother　sense；　on　the　fringes；　
not　quite　harnessed。　Intuition？　That　was　almost　the　right　word。　As　if　any　creature　needed　more　than　five　
senses。

　The　Seeker　cleared　her　throat；　but　it　was　the　Healer　who　answered。

　“Ah；”　he　said。　“Don’t　make　yourself　anxious　about　some　partial　memory…　difficulties。　That’s；　well；　not　
to　beexpected；　exactly；　but　not　surprising；　considering。”

　“I　don’t　understand　your　meaning。”

　“This　host　was　part　of　the　human　resistance。”　There　was　a　hint　of　excitement　in　the　Seeker’s　voice　now。　

“Those　humans　who　were　aware　of　us　before　insertion　are　more　difficult　to　subdue。　This　one　still　resists。”

　There　was　a　moment　of　silence　while　they　waited　for　my　response。

　Resisting？　The　host　was　blocking　my　access？　Again；　the　heat　of　my　anger　surprised　me。

　“Am　I　correctly　bound？”　I　asked；　my　voice　distorted　because　it　came　through　my　teeth。

　“Yes；”　the　Healer　said。　“All　eight　hundred　twenty…seven　points　are　latched　securely　in　the　optimum　

positions。”

　This　mind　used　more　of　my　faculties　than　any　host　before；　leaving　me　only　one　hundred　eighty…one　spare　
attachments。　Perhaps　the　numerous　bindings　were　the　reason　the　emotions　were　so　vivid。

　I　decided　to　open　my　eyes。　I　felt　the　need　to　double…check　the　Healer’s　promises　and　mak