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[科幻]宿主-第129章

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make myself not exist。 I don’t know how。” 
He didn’t answer; and my chest throbbed with pain。 How joyful he would be if Icould figure out how to 
erase myself!

 Melanie wanted to… not to contradict me; but to make me feel better; she struggled to find words to 
soften my agony。 She couldn’t e up with the right ones。

 But Ian would be devastated。 And Jamie。 Jeb would miss you。 You have so many friends here。 
Thanks。

 I was glad that we were back to our room now。 I needed to think about something else before I started 
crying。 Now wasn’t the time for self…pity。 There were more important issues at hand than my heart; 
breaking yet again。

 CHAPTER 43

 Frenzied

 Iimagined that from the outside; I looked as still as a statue。 My hands were folded in front of me; my 

 

 Inside; I was spinning apart; as if the pieces of my atoms were reversing polarity and blowing away from 
one another。 
Bringing Melanie back had not saved him。 All that I could do was not enough。 
The hall outside our room was crowded。 Jared; Kyle; and Ian were back from their desperate raid; 

empty…handed。 A cooler of ice—that was all they had to show for three days of risking their lives。 Trudy 

was making presses and laying them across Jamie’s forehead; the back of his neck; his chest。 
Even if the ice cooled the fever; raging out of control; how long until it was all melted? An hour? More? 
Less? How long until he was dying again?

 I would have been the one to put the ice on him; but I couldn’t move。 If I moved; I would fall into 
microscopic pieces。

 “Nothing?” Doc murmured。 “Did you check —” 
“Every spot we could think of;” Kyle interrupted。 “It’s not like painkillers; drugs—lots of people had 
reason to keep those hidden。 The antibiotics were always kept in the open。 They’re gone; Doc。”


 Jared just stared down at the red…faced child on the bed; not speaking。 
Ian stood beside me。 “Don’t look like that;” he whispered。 “He’ll pull through。 He’s tough。” 
I couldn’t respond。 Couldn’t even hear the words; really。 
Doc knelt beside Trudy and pulled Jamie’s chin down。 With a bowl he scooped up some of the ice 


water from the cooler and let it trickle into Jamie’s mouth。 We all heard the thick; painful sound of 


Jamie’s swallowing。 But his eyes didn’t open。 
I felt as though I would never be able to move again。 That I would turn into part of the stone wall。 I 
wanted to be stone。

 If they dug a hole for Jamie in the empty desert; they would have to put me in it; too。 
Not good enough;Melanie growled。 
I was despairing; but she was filled with fury。


 They tried。

 Trying solves nothing。 Jamie willnotdie。 They have to go back out。

 For what purpose? Even if they did find your old antibiotics; what are the chances they would 
still be any good? They only worked half the time anyway。 Inferior。 He doesn’t need your 
medicine。 He needs more than that。 Something that really works…

 My breathing sped up; deepened as I saw it。 

 

 Mel and I were both awestruck by the obviousness of this idea。 The simplicity of it。

 My stone lips cracked apart。 “Jamie needs real medicines。 The ones the souls have。 We need to get him 

those。”

 Doc frowned at me。 “We don’t even know what those things do; how they work。”

 “Does it matter?” Some of Melanie’s anger was seeping into my voice。 “They do work。 They can save 

him。”

 Jared stared at me。 I could feel Ian’s eyes on me; too; and Kyle’s; and all the rest in the room。 But I saw 
only Jared。

 “We can’t get ’em; Wanda;” Jeb said; his tone already one of defeat。 Giving up。 “We can only get into 
deserted places。 There’s always a bunch of your kind in a hospital。 Twenty…four hours a day。 Too many 
eyes。 We won’t do Jamie any good if we get caught。”

 “Sure;” Kyle said in a hard voice。 “The centipedes will be only too happy to heal his body when they 
find us here。 And make him one of them。 Is that what you’re after?”

 I turned to glare at the big; sneering man。 My body tensed and leaned forward。 Ian put his hand on my 
shoulder as if he were holding me back。 I didn’t think I would have made any aggressive move toward 

Kyle; but maybe I was wrong。 I was so far from my normal self。

 When I spoke; my voice was dead even; no inflection。 “There has to be a way。”

 Jared was nodding。 “Maybe someplace small。 The gun would make too much noise; but if there were 

enough of us to overwhelm them; we could use knives。” 
“No。” My arms came unfolded; my hands falling open in shock。 “No。 That’s not what I meant。 Not 

killing —”

 No one even listened to me。 Jeb was arguing with Jared。

 “There’s no way; kid。 Somebody’d get a call off to the Seekers。 Even if we were in and out; something 

like that would bring ’em down on us in force。 We’d be hard…pressed to make it out at all。 And they’d 
follow。”

 “Wait。 Can’t you —”

 They still weren’t listening to me。

 “I don’t want the boy to die; either; but we can’t risk everyone’s lives for one person;” Kyle said。 
“People die here; it happens。 We can’t get crazy to save one boy。”

 I wanted to choke him; to cut off his air in order to stop his calm words。 Me; not Melanie。I was the one 
who wanted to turn his face purple。 Melanie felt the same way; but I could tell how much of the violence 
came directly from me。 

 

Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter; processtext/abclit。html 
。 
Jeb looked at me。 “Hon; we can’t just walk in there and ask。” 
Right then; another very simple and obvious truth occurred to me。 
“You can’t。 But I can。” 
The room fell dead silent。 
I was caught up in the beauty of the plan forming in my head。 The perfection of it。 I spoke mostly to 


myself; and to Melanie。 She was impressed。 This would work。 We could save Jamie。 
“They aren’tsuspicious。 Not at all。 Even if I’m a horrible liar; they would never suspect me of anything。 
They wouldn’t be listening for lies。 Of course not。 I’m one of them。 They would do anything to help me。 
I’d say I got hurt hiking or something… and then I’d find a way to be alone and I’d take as much as I 
could hide。 Think of it! I could get enough to heal everyone here。 To last for years。 And Jamie would be 

fine! Why didn’t I think of this before? Maybe it wouldn’t have been too late even for Walter。” 
I looked up then; with shining eyes。 It was just so perfect! 
So perfect; so absolutely right; so obvious to me; that it took me forever to understand the expressions 


on their faces。 If Kyle’s had not been so explicit; it might have taken me longer。 
Hatred。 Suspicion。 Fear。 
Even Jeb’s poker face was not enough。 His eyes were tight with mistrust。 
Every face saidno。 
Are they insane? Can’t they see how this would help us all? 
They don’t believe me。 They think I’ll hurt them; hurt Jamie!


 “Please;” I whispered。 “It’s the only way to save him。” 
“Patient; isn’t it?” Kyle spit。 “Bided its time well; don’t you think?” 
I fought the desire to choke him again。 
“Doc?” I begged。 
He didn’t meet my eyes。 “Even if there was any way we could let you outside; Wanda… I just couldn’t 


trust drugs I don’t understand。 Jamie’s a tough kid。 His system will fight this off。” 
“We’ll go out again; Wanda;” Ian murmured。 “We’ll find something。 We won’t e back until we do。” 
“That’s not good enough。” The tears were pooling in my eyes。 I looked to the one person who might 


possibly be in as much pain as I was。 “Jared。 You know。 Youknow I would never let anything hurt 
Jamie。 You know I can do this。 Please。” 

 

 “No; Wanda;” he said quietly。 “No。”

 A sigh of relief from the rest。

 My knees buckled。 I fell forward and yanked free of Ian’s hands when he tried to pull me back up。 I 
crawled to Jamie and pushed Trudy aside with my elbow。 The silent room watched。 I took the press 
from his head and refilled the melted ice。 I didn’t meet the stares I could feel on my skin。 I couldn’t see 
anyway。 The tears swam in front of my eyes。

 “Jamie; Jamie; Jamie;” I crooned。 “Jamie; Jamie; Jamie。”

 I couldn’t seem to do an

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